The inevitable future bailout request

WASHINGTON -- Fierce debate continued in Congress today over whether federal lawmakers should approve a massive $900 bailout of the oil industry.

With oil profits plummeting in parallel with the steep decline in the price of petroleum, oil company CEOs requested an "extended, no-interest loan with no strings attached" based on previous bailouts of the financial sector, auto industry, airlines, major newspapers and half of American homeowners.

In a related matter, the Congressional Budget Office projects a $3 trillion federal deficit for fiscal 2010, with 80 percent of all tax revenue now spent on debt service.

"I don't see how Congress can in good conscience turn its back on such an integral part of our economy," said an oil company exec who asked not to be identified. "If we fail, the whole country goes down the drain. You keep hearing how other industries are too big to fail. We're even bigger than that."

In other news, China will soon complete its purchase of the second half of Manhattan, having finished acquisition of the first half last year after yet another rescue package approved by Congress ...